Helping students gain emotional stability in schools | Student Voices

By Jer’Miya West: Special to The SeattleTimes May 25, 2025

When I think about what it means to feel safe and stable, I realize how important those things are to me. 

Growing up, I didn’t always feel like I had a space where I could fully be myself. As I got older, especially during my transition into high school, I worried about finding that kind of stability.

I had questions about whether I’d fit in, whether people would understand me and whether I’d be able to express myself without judgment. That sense of emotional safety wasn’t something I could take for granted, it was something I hoped to find.

Torey Hayden, an author and special education teacher in Montana, once said: “Safety is the most basic task of all. Without a sense of safety, no growth can take place. Without safety, all energy goes to defense.” While I agree with most of what she’s saying, I would reframe the idea that safety is just a basic task. 

For many students like me, safety is not just a simple starting point; it’s complex, layered and deeply connected to the stability we feel in school. That stability doesn’t just come from rules or routines. It’s built through trusting relationships, supportive adults and spaces that allow us to be our full selves. Without that kind of environment, it’s hard to grow in any meaningful way.

Starting my freshman year, I chose to attend Middle College High School at North Seattle College because I thought it would fit me academically. But socially, I wasn’t sure what to expect. 

Our school is small, focused mostly on core classes, with few electives and no big sports teams or dances, things that many students see as core parts of the “high school experience.” I didn’t know how I’d find my place in a school environment that looked so different from what I’d seen on TV or heard about from others. It made me feel out of sync, unsure of where I’d fit in or how I’d be viewed.

For a long time, I found myself code-switching, changing the way I spoke and acted, depending on who I was around. I did it not just with my peers, but also with teachers and staff. 

In class, I held back from being the goofy, slightly immature girl I’ve always been because I felt like, as a Black student, I had to work 10 times harder to be taken seriously. I thought that by acting more reserved or polished, I’d come off as more approachable or acceptable. 

Sometimes I’d push myself to say or do things that didn’t feel true to who I was, just to make others more comfortable. But deep down, it left me feeling like I was hiding a part of myself.

What helped me finally let go of that pressure was the support I found within my school community. One of the first people who made a real impact on me was our student success coordinator, Mr. Phillip Page. He’s one of the most inspirational Black men I’ve ever met. Every day that I see him, he reminds me to be proud and unapologetically me. His presence alone gives me the confidence to show up as myself, even when it feels hard.

Our principal, Keven Wynkoop, also plays a big role in creating a safe and inclusive environment. He’s hands-on and genuinely makes sure every student feels seen, heard and valued. 

The teachers at Middle College are the same way. They don’t just teach, they listen. They trust students, give us the benefit of the doubt and treat us like whole people with voices that matter.

If I had to name one trusted adult who truly helped me find my place in high school, it would be my history and English teacher, Ms. Robin Wilson. Before her class, history often felt like a subject where people like me were barely mentioned. It was as if my story, and the stories of other students of color, were hidden behind the dominant culture’s version of the past. 

Ms. Wilson changed that. She taught us about the danger of the “single story,” where one perspective erases so many others. She pushed us to challenge the status quo and learn what’s real and authentic, even when it’s not in the textbook.

That encouragement sparked something in me. I started getting more involved at school — joining newspaper, yearbook, and student council. I even helped start a Black Student Union on campus. I wanted other students like me to feel seen, celebrated and proud of who they are.

When I think about everything Ms. Wilson, Mr. Page, my principal and my other teachers have done for me, I feel thankful. They helped me understand that emotional stability isn’t just about staying calm or being quiet — it’s about having the space and support to grow. They’ve shown me what it looks like to create a school environment where students like me can truly thrive.

I walk through the halls of Middle College not just as a student, but as a proud Black girl who knows her voice matters — and who now has the courage to use it.

Jer’Miya West: Jer’Miya West is a junior at Middle College High School and in the Running Start program at North Seattle College. She plans to attend a historically Black college or university to pursue a prelaw criminal justice degree. She wants to start a nonprofit offering legal assistance to low-income communities.

Please read entire article in The Seattle Times: Education Lab